Monday, July 27, 2015
The pit- Summer 2015
I am not my best self right now. I know this because not even 3 months ago I felt I had reached what I would call “my best self.” That concept sounds too Joel Osteen-y to me so let me rephrase..I felt that I was functioning as one of the best versions of myself that I had met so far in my 29 years. Therefore, the contrast I feel today alerts me that I am no longer there and its time to find her again.
I’m going to speak in past tense even though I’m not fully out of it, because I’m at a point where I’ve realized I’m not my best self and quite frankly... I am over it.
Over her.
So today I begin to move away from that self. But this is a reflection.
I’ve been irritable, withholding, selfish, cowardly, sad, impatient, downcast, shortsighted, lonely, and complaining. This is not my usual mode of operations. This is not my vision or intention for myself and how I desire to live and love. Far from it.
I am coming off the heels of a heartbreak. If you have experienced any shade of heartbreak or disappointment you understand. This brings with it months of grief and waves of all sorts of emotions and adjustments. I also fell from one of my highest seasons when I was feeling like an enlightened and joyful “best” version of myself. It was a glorious high but as most do, it ended.
Somehow I landed in a pit.
In this pit my companions were sadness and confusion. The movie that was playing in this it was called "Regret" and played my past relationship over and over. I was also staring into a future that I hadn’t had the time or space to envision or even trust how I was feeling in order to make decisions. In the pit I was a flip flopper. Like a shifty political candidate, my mind was osculating between extremes. I was tempted to be blind to all the good that was attached to me.
Many people may experience time in the pit after love is lost and many other heartaches…
Infertility, marital struggles, parenting struggles, financial woes, death, disease, depression.
All things that we are vulnerable to if we are at all living and breathing humans participating in this game of life.
There are times in life of certainty and peace and then there are times of pure unrest.
I am at a crossroads. I want to stand at this fork in the road with excitement, curiosity and vivacious confidence, but the overwhelming feeling is fear. Fear of the unknown.
In my mind, I know that fear is NOT something to let at the steering wheel. Fear really shouldn’t be in the front seat at all. Let us actually throw it out on the side of the road and leave it there. BYYYYEEEEEE.
The me I want to be has a very distant relationship with fear. But lately we have been hanging out far too much.
I’m not at my best. I know I will get there again. Soon even. Perfectionism is not a thing I struggle with. I embrace grace easily and allow it to wash over me like a beach shower cleaning off the sand and salt. I am choosing to cover this version of myself in grace. Clean, fresh water as the remnants of this season wash away, exfoliating my spirit to leave it refreshed and radiant and ready for the next season of unknown. I am also choosing to adopt the perspective of hope and allow my attitude to create my reality.
Staying in the pit is not an option. I will rise. I will practice gratitude and discipline to crawl out. I am actually excited for the climb.
The pit is awful, but is there purpose and meaning from our seasons in the pit? Lets try to see the bright side of it all, shall we?
The pit produces empathy. The empathy that I have for those that I know or will meet that are watching movies and hanging with sadness in the pit is much more available to me now more than ever. Being in the pit produces deep gratitude for our peaceful and joyful seasons.
The pit has caused me to be deeply (and sometimes annoyingly) self-aware. Also its nudged me to be God aware. It is easy to close the spiritual door in your soul when you are aching or confused in the pit. I did, and I think its okay for a moment. But when you open the door to the Spirit you may hear
“ding.”
An Elevator appears.
The door opens.
You press “UP” and you ride to the top.
You ride that glass cube to the top where you can breathe fresh air again.
Rock climbing out of the pit is also an option. We can attempt it with no harness, ropes or someone waiting for us at the top. Or we can put on the harness, clip in our rope and shout with all that is left in us...
“BELAY ON?”
and hear the response from above…
“ON BELAY”
we will shout out..
“CLIMBING”
and hear the sure solid voice of love saying
“CLIMB ON”
Sunday, July 19, 2015
sarah smith
Sarah Smith- The Great Divorce- CS Lewis
This chapter from Lewis's THE GREAT DIVORCE resonates deeply with me and I'd love to share it with you.
What I will strive daily to become. Fame is different in heaven than here.
A man is being showed around "heaven" .... There is a parade...this is what he sees...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"First came bright Spirits, not the Spirits of men, who danced and scattered flowers. Then, on the left and right, at each side of the forest avenue, came youthful shapes, boys upon one hand, and girls upon the other. If I could remember their singing and write down the notes, no man who read that score would ever grow sick or old. Between them went musicians: and after these a lady in whose honour all this was being done.
I cannot now remember whether she was naked or clothed. If she were naked, then it must have been the almost visible penumbra of her courtesy and joy which produces in my memory the illusion of a great and shining train that followed her across the happy grass. If she were clothed, then the illusion of nakedness is doubtless due to the clarity with which her inmost spirit shone through the clothes. For clothes in that country are not a disguise: the spiritual body lives along each thread and turns them into living organs. A robe or a crown is there as much one of the wearer's features as a lip or an eye.
But I have forgotten. And only partly do I remember the unbearable beauty of her face.
“Is it?...is it?” I whispered to my guide.
“Not at all,” said he. “It's someone ye'll never have heard of.
Her name on earth was Sarah Smith and she lived at Golders Green.”
“She seems to be...well, a person of particular importance?”
“Aye. She is one of the great ones. Ye have heard that fame in this country and fame on Earth are two quite different things.”
“And who are all these young men and women on each side?”
“They are her sons and daughters.”
“She must have had a very large family, Sir.”
“Every young man or boy that met her became her son – even if it was only the boy that brought the meat to her back door. Every girl that met her was her daughter.”
“Isn't that a bit hard on their own parents?”
“No. There are those that steal other people's children. But her motherhood was of a different kind. Those on whom it fell went back to their natural parents loving them more. Few men looked on her without becoming, in a certain fashion, her lovers. But it was the kind of love that made them not less true, but truer, to their own wives.”
“And how...but hullo! What are all these animals? A cat-two cats-dozens of cats. And all those dogs...why, I can't count them. And the birds. And the horses.”
“They are her beasts.”
“Did she keep a sort of zoo? I mean, this is a bit too much.”
“Every beast and bird that came near her had its place in her love. In her they became themselves. And now the abundance of life she has in Christ from the Father flows over into them.”
I looked at my Teacher in amazement.
“Yes,” he said. “It is like when you throw a stone into a pool, and the concentric waves spread out further and further. Who knows where it will end? Redeemed humanity is still young, it has hardly come to its full strength. But already there is joy enough in the little finger of a great saint such as this lady to waken all the dead things of the universe into life."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This excerpt fills me with intention. I am and may always be a long way from these attributes but I can strive for them. To create fame and ripples that extend passed the superficial ponds and explode into the oceans of eternity.
This chapter from Lewis's THE GREAT DIVORCE resonates deeply with me and I'd love to share it with you.
What I will strive daily to become. Fame is different in heaven than here.
A man is being showed around "heaven" .... There is a parade...this is what he sees...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"First came bright Spirits, not the Spirits of men, who danced and scattered flowers. Then, on the left and right, at each side of the forest avenue, came youthful shapes, boys upon one hand, and girls upon the other. If I could remember their singing and write down the notes, no man who read that score would ever grow sick or old. Between them went musicians: and after these a lady in whose honour all this was being done.
I cannot now remember whether she was naked or clothed. If she were naked, then it must have been the almost visible penumbra of her courtesy and joy which produces in my memory the illusion of a great and shining train that followed her across the happy grass. If she were clothed, then the illusion of nakedness is doubtless due to the clarity with which her inmost spirit shone through the clothes. For clothes in that country are not a disguise: the spiritual body lives along each thread and turns them into living organs. A robe or a crown is there as much one of the wearer's features as a lip or an eye.
But I have forgotten. And only partly do I remember the unbearable beauty of her face.
“Is it?...is it?” I whispered to my guide.
“Not at all,” said he. “It's someone ye'll never have heard of.
Her name on earth was Sarah Smith and she lived at Golders Green.”
“She seems to be...well, a person of particular importance?”
“Aye. She is one of the great ones. Ye have heard that fame in this country and fame on Earth are two quite different things.”
“And who are all these young men and women on each side?”
“They are her sons and daughters.”
“She must have had a very large family, Sir.”
“Every young man or boy that met her became her son – even if it was only the boy that brought the meat to her back door. Every girl that met her was her daughter.”
“Isn't that a bit hard on their own parents?”
“No. There are those that steal other people's children. But her motherhood was of a different kind. Those on whom it fell went back to their natural parents loving them more. Few men looked on her without becoming, in a certain fashion, her lovers. But it was the kind of love that made them not less true, but truer, to their own wives.”
“And how...but hullo! What are all these animals? A cat-two cats-dozens of cats. And all those dogs...why, I can't count them. And the birds. And the horses.”
“They are her beasts.”
“Did she keep a sort of zoo? I mean, this is a bit too much.”
“Every beast and bird that came near her had its place in her love. In her they became themselves. And now the abundance of life she has in Christ from the Father flows over into them.”
I looked at my Teacher in amazement.
“Yes,” he said. “It is like when you throw a stone into a pool, and the concentric waves spread out further and further. Who knows where it will end? Redeemed humanity is still young, it has hardly come to its full strength. But already there is joy enough in the little finger of a great saint such as this lady to waken all the dead things of the universe into life."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This excerpt fills me with intention. I am and may always be a long way from these attributes but I can strive for them. To create fame and ripples that extend passed the superficial ponds and explode into the oceans of eternity.
january 2015- blank canvas
Vagabonding once again. I have spent most of my twenties as a vagabond. A gypsy. Traveling. Adventuring. I was over it for a time. So I settled in NYC. Now I'm at it again. No real physical home. No address. No destination. I basically live in my car. But not. I'm currently in the back seat of Anna and Greg's Prius. We started in Charleston (by way of Hilton Head) to Virginia Beach, to her parents in Delaware and now headed to NYC.
I'm ready to be there for a week or so again. I'm excited to experience the city in a stress free manner. No agenda. No work. No rent. I want to stroll instead of race. There were times where my pace was do fast I would lose myself.
I have so much appreciation for who I have become this past year. For the things I have learned. For the things I have let go of and the things I have gained. The things that challenged and changed me. The lists are long.
My mind had been changed.
2014 was the year of growth, change, struggle, choice, and breakthrough.
I was faced with the depths of myself. Realities and desires that could not be ignored.
Realities-
I am in love with a man. My best friend. And it's been hard.
I let NYC go and I'm happier.
I have choice in my life. I can create a life I desire.
I have a desire to work in the counseling helping people field.
I desire to work with a team to create something life changing for people.
I'm open to what God has for me.
I desire a intentional community.
So once again I am an open book. Blank canvas.
My prayer and desire is that my life would help others. That I could live in a way that inspires, serves, lifts, helps and challenges others. That I would be open to the leadings and teachings and direction the Spirit would give. I hope to let go if the expectations I have and live in the now.
What do I want the theme of my 2015 to be?
Blank canvas. Open to starting something new. Fresh. Whimsy. Open to being surprised by the Spirit. Creating what I believe. Taking risks and living adventures. Loving the ones in my life to love. Fully. Unreserved adoration and support to my loved ones.
I'm ready to be there for a week or so again. I'm excited to experience the city in a stress free manner. No agenda. No work. No rent. I want to stroll instead of race. There were times where my pace was do fast I would lose myself.
I have so much appreciation for who I have become this past year. For the things I have learned. For the things I have let go of and the things I have gained. The things that challenged and changed me. The lists are long.
My mind had been changed.
2014 was the year of growth, change, struggle, choice, and breakthrough.
I was faced with the depths of myself. Realities and desires that could not be ignored.
Realities-
I am in love with a man. My best friend. And it's been hard.
I let NYC go and I'm happier.
I have choice in my life. I can create a life I desire.
I have a desire to work in the counseling helping people field.
I desire to work with a team to create something life changing for people.
I'm open to what God has for me.
I desire a intentional community.
So once again I am an open book. Blank canvas.
My prayer and desire is that my life would help others. That I could live in a way that inspires, serves, lifts, helps and challenges others. That I would be open to the leadings and teachings and direction the Spirit would give. I hope to let go if the expectations I have and live in the now.
What do I want the theme of my 2015 to be?
Blank canvas. Open to starting something new. Fresh. Whimsy. Open to being surprised by the Spirit. Creating what I believe. Taking risks and living adventures. Loving the ones in my life to love. Fully. Unreserved adoration and support to my loved ones.
february 2015- risk
February 2015---
I have recently experienced a break up. I won't beat around the bush. I'm heartbroken. Bleeding. Grieved. But there is hope.
Life is funny. It's unpredictable. Dangerous. Incredible.
Love is all these things too. I knew going into and throughout this relationship that it was dangerous. Loving someone as much as I grew to love this man was risky. And even today...in my heartbreak...I know I accepted the risk.
This was my first real adult committed relationship and boy did I learn a great deal. I'll share some of the lessons with you now if you would allow me.
Begin relationship with a solid foundation.
Our culture is so conditioned to expect things to be immediate. Instant. Zero to sixty in nothing flat.
But relationships often take time. And often time is needed before the official relationship begins. Before you build a house or go on a road trip you need a plan. An understanding of what the house will look like or what roads to take. The two individuals need to be on the same page before setting off to build. These are not things I thought of as much when I was younger. But now looking back as to what I could have done differently this idea seems to shine. Also winds will blow on your relationship and if it is not set on a firm foundation it will likely fall. And that can be heartbreaking. So have that talk and be real about where you are at before beginning.
Vulnerability is a must.
Sooner rather than later. I have learned that love comes from allowing yourself to be seen. Known. And truly seeking to know your partner. In the act of opening up your truest self to someone you can experience deep love. I found this to be true. I feel like this is the first time I was truly myself with anyone I have loved. Maybe because I am older now and actually know myself better these days so I was able to give that to him. The act of putting on a mask or leaving up walls from past hurt or failure does not produce healthy relationships. And who among us has never done this. I bet not one of us can cast a stone on that particular sin. We all mask up at some time or another. We all hide behind what we think we should be or feel. But coming out and saying the truth can be the best thing you ever do for yourself or your relationship. Even if it is as simple as " I want Thai tonight instead of pizza." Or it may be as big as "I think I need some time to get ready for this relationship before we jump in." Try to be the partner that says how they feel and can hear...really actually calmly hear how your partner is feeling.
Truth telling will make or break your relationship.
Be the Captain of their team.
Being the team captain of your partners team will produce a winning partnership. You are not on opposing teams. Choosing to be the head cheerleader and captain of your loves team means you are there to flip the coins and cheer them on when they are down or winning. It should be an honor and privilege to have this position.
Don't hold on too tight.
I held on too tight. I've been waiting my whole life to love someone the way I loved this man. I was so convinced it was right in the long run I couldn't see that it maybe wasn't right in the time. Life is hard and seasons can be tricky and different for each party. Sometime space is needed. I wish I could have learned to let go. Let the relationship breathe and take shape naturally instead of creating it. There is a balance between intentional and free flowing. I couldn't find it. I hope to one day. But I have learned that anything that is held too tightly will shrivel from lack of air.
Walk around in his skin.
There is a quote from one of my favorite books TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD that has been on my mind in regards to relationships... I think it could be a savior to some relationships...
"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." - Atticus Finch
The beloved Atticus gives this advice to his daughter Scout and somehow simplifies human nature for us. In partnerships there are moments when you are completely in sync but of course there are moments of complete disagreement. If we could step outside of ourselves and truly consider our partners feelings and circumstances it could revolutionize our days and lives. Sometimes we can't and don't ask for what we need because we do not know at the time. But if we can decide to be the type of partners that see our loves from within their skin we could gain such empathy and perspective. Also if both parties are doing this for each other they will both feel seen and heard and isn't that one of the most basic of human desires? I was able to practice this but absolutely failed time and again.
These are only a few of the things I learned. I could literally write a book. But one day when I look back on this blog it will stand as a reminder to me as aim to walk confidently into the risk of love.
I have recently experienced a break up. I won't beat around the bush. I'm heartbroken. Bleeding. Grieved. But there is hope.
Life is funny. It's unpredictable. Dangerous. Incredible.
Love is all these things too. I knew going into and throughout this relationship that it was dangerous. Loving someone as much as I grew to love this man was risky. And even today...in my heartbreak...I know I accepted the risk.
This was my first real adult committed relationship and boy did I learn a great deal. I'll share some of the lessons with you now if you would allow me.
Begin relationship with a solid foundation.
Our culture is so conditioned to expect things to be immediate. Instant. Zero to sixty in nothing flat.
But relationships often take time. And often time is needed before the official relationship begins. Before you build a house or go on a road trip you need a plan. An understanding of what the house will look like or what roads to take. The two individuals need to be on the same page before setting off to build. These are not things I thought of as much when I was younger. But now looking back as to what I could have done differently this idea seems to shine. Also winds will blow on your relationship and if it is not set on a firm foundation it will likely fall. And that can be heartbreaking. So have that talk and be real about where you are at before beginning.
Vulnerability is a must.
Sooner rather than later. I have learned that love comes from allowing yourself to be seen. Known. And truly seeking to know your partner. In the act of opening up your truest self to someone you can experience deep love. I found this to be true. I feel like this is the first time I was truly myself with anyone I have loved. Maybe because I am older now and actually know myself better these days so I was able to give that to him. The act of putting on a mask or leaving up walls from past hurt or failure does not produce healthy relationships. And who among us has never done this. I bet not one of us can cast a stone on that particular sin. We all mask up at some time or another. We all hide behind what we think we should be or feel. But coming out and saying the truth can be the best thing you ever do for yourself or your relationship. Even if it is as simple as " I want Thai tonight instead of pizza." Or it may be as big as "I think I need some time to get ready for this relationship before we jump in." Try to be the partner that says how they feel and can hear...really actually calmly hear how your partner is feeling.
Truth telling will make or break your relationship.
Be the Captain of their team.
Being the team captain of your partners team will produce a winning partnership. You are not on opposing teams. Choosing to be the head cheerleader and captain of your loves team means you are there to flip the coins and cheer them on when they are down or winning. It should be an honor and privilege to have this position.
Don't hold on too tight.
I held on too tight. I've been waiting my whole life to love someone the way I loved this man. I was so convinced it was right in the long run I couldn't see that it maybe wasn't right in the time. Life is hard and seasons can be tricky and different for each party. Sometime space is needed. I wish I could have learned to let go. Let the relationship breathe and take shape naturally instead of creating it. There is a balance between intentional and free flowing. I couldn't find it. I hope to one day. But I have learned that anything that is held too tightly will shrivel from lack of air.
Walk around in his skin.
There is a quote from one of my favorite books TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD that has been on my mind in regards to relationships... I think it could be a savior to some relationships...
"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." - Atticus Finch
The beloved Atticus gives this advice to his daughter Scout and somehow simplifies human nature for us. In partnerships there are moments when you are completely in sync but of course there are moments of complete disagreement. If we could step outside of ourselves and truly consider our partners feelings and circumstances it could revolutionize our days and lives. Sometimes we can't and don't ask for what we need because we do not know at the time. But if we can decide to be the type of partners that see our loves from within their skin we could gain such empathy and perspective. Also if both parties are doing this for each other they will both feel seen and heard and isn't that one of the most basic of human desires? I was able to practice this but absolutely failed time and again.
These are only a few of the things I learned. I could literally write a book. But one day when I look back on this blog it will stand as a reminder to me as aim to walk confidently into the risk of love.
august 2014- a break- up
I wrote this just shy of a year ago. august 2014
----------------------------------------------------------
"I am leaving New York. Some would and do say that I am moving to Florida. But I am really just leaving New York. We are breaking up. There was a time where I truly felt that New York and I were having a deep, passionate, giddy love affair. The kind where you want to know everything about your lover and spend every moment in their warm (or freezing) embrace. We played and struggled and learned together. When we got together I was never under the illusion that we were marriage material. Never did I imagine us together forever. 80 years old on a picnic blanket together in Central Park, raising out kids together. Not what I imagined. Even in the deepest moments of our affair. We learned from each other. We grew together and I am who I am today because of this relationship. You know when you love someone, their friends become your friends. New York brought me and helped me deepen some of the most precious friendships in my life. Had I never fallen in love with New York those friendships would still be lingering on the surface of my heart. But because of the love they have changed my life to the depths. For that I am grateful.
We are breaking up. Sometimes one of the worst parts of a break-up is you loose the closeness that you once had with the mutual friends you shared. This may be true in some ways but I believe because this break- up is civil and mutual those relationships will stay strong even with miles between us.
This break- up is mutual. I believe there may be times in the future when we have coffee together again and perhaps take a stroll together in the park and a long dinner and drinks in the village. We will pick up where we left off and feel nothing but warmth for each other because of the nature of the break up.
We also lived together. So I am packing up my things and moving out. Boxes full of memories. Also simplifying. Leaving things. Selling things. Giving things away. Purging, if you will.
New York and I will always love each other. When you come to a place in your relationship when your eyes start to wander and you begin to dream of warmer climates, slower paces, and palm trees, its best to end it while you can.
My eyes had been wandering for a bit. My heart is craving a new adventure. I have hope for a new love.
We never know how a relationship will end when it begins. We all make a choice. A choice to see. To explore. To put yourself out there and love. When you give your heart to someone or something (or someplace) there is no guarantee that it will be returned or that it will be the same as it was before. It most certainly will not be the same, But isn't that the beauty of love? That is changes us.
If we are aware, honest, and determined to allow relationships to take us where they will, we will have no regrets. I do believe this affair has made me harder than before...but also a thousand times wiser and more alive.
I do not regret the love affair with New York. In my most honest moments I know it was absolutely the love that God had for me at the time. I will miss it, like you miss andy friend or lover you leave behind...but I know I'll be back.
I <3 NYC -------------------------- That was quite a defining time in my life. I did leave. I did go to Florida. But I didnt stay for long. Since then Ive been all over. Mostly the beautiful HILTON HEAD ISLAND> a love affair of its own.
I have a feeling NYC and I will be having that coffee date sooner than later. Not moving in or committing but slowly getting to know each other again. For a time.
Here's to the continued adventuring.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I am leaving New York. Some would and do say that I am moving to Florida. But I am really just leaving New York. We are breaking up. There was a time where I truly felt that New York and I were having a deep, passionate, giddy love affair. The kind where you want to know everything about your lover and spend every moment in their warm (or freezing) embrace. We played and struggled and learned together. When we got together I was never under the illusion that we were marriage material. Never did I imagine us together forever. 80 years old on a picnic blanket together in Central Park, raising out kids together. Not what I imagined. Even in the deepest moments of our affair. We learned from each other. We grew together and I am who I am today because of this relationship. You know when you love someone, their friends become your friends. New York brought me and helped me deepen some of the most precious friendships in my life. Had I never fallen in love with New York those friendships would still be lingering on the surface of my heart. But because of the love they have changed my life to the depths. For that I am grateful.
We are breaking up. Sometimes one of the worst parts of a break-up is you loose the closeness that you once had with the mutual friends you shared. This may be true in some ways but I believe because this break- up is civil and mutual those relationships will stay strong even with miles between us.
This break- up is mutual. I believe there may be times in the future when we have coffee together again and perhaps take a stroll together in the park and a long dinner and drinks in the village. We will pick up where we left off and feel nothing but warmth for each other because of the nature of the break up.
We also lived together. So I am packing up my things and moving out. Boxes full of memories. Also simplifying. Leaving things. Selling things. Giving things away. Purging, if you will.
New York and I will always love each other. When you come to a place in your relationship when your eyes start to wander and you begin to dream of warmer climates, slower paces, and palm trees, its best to end it while you can.
My eyes had been wandering for a bit. My heart is craving a new adventure. I have hope for a new love.
We never know how a relationship will end when it begins. We all make a choice. A choice to see. To explore. To put yourself out there and love. When you give your heart to someone or something (or someplace) there is no guarantee that it will be returned or that it will be the same as it was before. It most certainly will not be the same, But isn't that the beauty of love? That is changes us.
If we are aware, honest, and determined to allow relationships to take us where they will, we will have no regrets. I do believe this affair has made me harder than before...but also a thousand times wiser and more alive.
I do not regret the love affair with New York. In my most honest moments I know it was absolutely the love that God had for me at the time. I will miss it, like you miss andy friend or lover you leave behind...but I know I'll be back.
I <3 NYC -------------------------- That was quite a defining time in my life. I did leave. I did go to Florida. But I didnt stay for long. Since then Ive been all over. Mostly the beautiful HILTON HEAD ISLAND> a love affair of its own.
I have a feeling NYC and I will be having that coffee date sooner than later. Not moving in or committing but slowly getting to know each other again. For a time.
Here's to the continued adventuring.
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