all of the things

A catch phrase that I have adopted over the past year is "All of the things." I like it. I feel that it sums up ...well...all of the things. All of the feels. It is an all inclusive way of including...all of the things.

Hense the name of this blog.

This is not a recipe blog, or a parenting blog, or a fashion blog. This is a blog about all the things. I imagine it will be my ramblings on life. An outlet. Hopefully an inspiring one.

Even as I've been writing this my appreciation for writers and bloggers has exploded. It takes a great deal of courage to put your thoughts and ideas out there for others to read and draw opinion on. It's scary...and a great exercise in confidence.

I love writers. I love reading. I was thinking last night how writers are really just thinkers who jot down their thoughts. Crystalizing them. Setting them in stone, or ink, or on this luminous screen. It's brave.
I have a lot of thoughts.
All the thoughts.
All the feels.

I have been journalling all of my adult life and I find it an important practice. But those journals are just for me...But now I attempt to share some of my ramblings. So here goes.

The past 2 years I have been learning a lot. Too vague. Let me zoom in.

I have been learning a great deal about vulnerability, showing up and being seen, courage, shame, love, fear, anxiety, joy, relationships, God, and myself. Still too big.

Zoom.

I went to counseling this past summer. I was facing some real, raw, and ugly feels and needed to work through some stuuuuuff. So I did. Faced the ugly. Looked straight in the eyes of my disappointment, my fear of the unknown, my insecurities in my relationship, my frustration with God, my unhealthy attachment to theatre, and my desire for more. I sat with these things and poured cleansing water on them. Now they shine. Clean. Fresh. Still cracked and maybe a little dusty on certain days, but beautiful. I have learned that peeling back the armor that we all put on, or is put on us, is vital to living a wholehearted existence. This is what I crave. To be wholehearted. To love with my whole heart. To act out of bravery and not fear. To say what I mean and act upon my values. To face hard things. To rest in patience.

Zoom.

I'm a spiritual person. A seeker. My category of spirituality is Christian. God, Jesus, Spirit, sacrifice, generosity, love, crucifixion, resurrection, hope. It all baffles me. Fascinates me. Confuses me. And somehow resonates deep within me. I don't know if you can relate or not but that's where I'm at. It informs and guides my life heavily.

Zoom.

I like deep talks, kombucha, chap stick, Friday Night Lights, TED Talks, sunsets, fire pits, friendships, any dog with doodle in the name, theatre, children, folk music, dance, stars, people, poetry, whimsy, palm trees, my family, and guacamole.

Zoom.

In the last 6 1/2 years since I graduated from college I have only lived one year with a permanent address that was actually mine. I lead a gypsy life and have a free spirit. I'm comfortable bouncing from place to gig to adventure. I do deep down crave a true home...but home truly is wherever I'm with... well... me. Because in me is God, and we are home. I like me... and we have a pretty good thing going. I also have the most miraculous home in Florida with a loving family, but I do not lay my head there. My home also looks like my friends. I have some of the best in the universe. They are spread far and wide but dwell deep in my soul. Also my heart is with a man whom feels a lot like home too.
I lived in New York City for the past 3 years. And for the last year my name was on the lease. On our mailbox. 4W was the apartment number on 109th street and Amsterdam on the island of manhattan with a world class roommate. More on that chapter later I'm sure.

But today most of my things are split between two small closets in my parents house in Florida, in the back of my ford escape in the driveway of this Atlanta home, and in this cozy sunflower charmed guest room of my best friend and her husband and daughters house. I'm here today. Maybe for the next few weeks. And this is where this blog begins.




peace.